10 Tips for New Trucker Wives; Take Charge on the Home Front

As I said before there is not much information out there about "How to be a Trucker-wife" or how to make this life easier on yourself and your family. It took a while after my husband started OTR to get a handle on things and to be content with this decision. At the time I had wished there was somebody there to give me advice in the beginning, maybe it would not have taken me so long to accept this life and make the most of it!

So I decided to comprise a list of tips for new trucker-wives and how to handle the transition easier. This list can also be useful if your significant other has any job away from home.

Last week I discussed how planning out your time together can be beneficial. This week I will continue on with this series and talk about taking on responsibilities at home.

So here goes, tip #5...
5. Take Charge on the Home Front

With your husband now gone, most of chores that were once split down the middle have disproportionately got laid down on your plate! Do not let yourself feel resentful because of this. Take this opportunity to start "wearing the pants!" (but don't let your husband know this! ha) Take charge of the checkbook and bills, make decisions yourself, organize your home they way you want it!

My husband did a lot around the house. We both worked full time before he started trucking which meant we both had to share responsibilities around the home because neither of us were home often. A lot of things were left un-done and/or disorganized. When he went over the road...I stood up and took charge. I looked at it as an opportunity to run my house the way I wanted to!

Start taking it upon yourself to take your vehicle to get serviced, take the garbage out, learn how to fix things and do the "man-work". Not only will your house stay more organized and taken care of but you might also start to feel pride that you are able to take care of things on your own!

By filling your days with a routine and getting things accomplished, it leaves you little time to sit and think about your significant other being away. It is easy to fall into a depression when all that you think about is him not being there...fight that urge to mope and make yourself up a routine to follow each day and goals you want to accomplish! It may not sound like fun, but it is rewarding!

Also, by taking care of most of the responsibilities at home, it will give you and your trucker more quality time to spend together during his home-time! Don't get me wrong, there are still things I refuse to do, like mow the lawn, change the kitty-litter, or carry very heavy objects! So do not think that I am saying do EVERYthing and leave nothing for him to do, I am just saying pick up a few of the shared chores and take charge of your home! Believe me you will feel proud of yourself!

How have the responsibilities in your home changed since your trucker has been on the road?

10 Tips for New Trucker Wives; Plan out your time spent together!

As I said before there is not much information out there about "How to be a Trucker-wife" or how to make this life easier on yourself and your family. It took a while after my husband started OTR to get a handle on things and to be content with this decision. At the time I had wished there was somebody there to give me advice in the beginning, maybe it would not have taken me so long to accept this life and make the most of it!

So I decided to comprise a list of tips for new trucker-wives and how to handle the transition easier. This list can also be useful if your significant other has any job away from home.

Last week I discussed the importance of being flexible This week I will continue on with this series and talk a little about spending quality time together.

So here goes, tip #4...

4. Plan out your time spent together!

 

 It is always nice to have something to look forward to do together when your husband is home. Plan your time so you get the most out of it since the two of you do not get to spend a lot of time together.

 

If it has been awhile since the two of you have had time "alone", find a sitter and plan a date together. If your kids are missing their daddy more this week, plan a trip to the playground with daddy so they are excited all week instead of sad about him being away.

 

Useing what little time you have in the most efficient way will help keep your relationship smooth sailing despite the constant distant between you.

 

I also always try to get most of the chores done through the week so most of our time can be spent together on weekend and not wasted on chores that I had time to do all week. This will
make your time together more enjoyable.

This week we are planning to go to a local cash bash picnic and then take our little one to the movie's to see the new EPIC movie! What plans do you have with your trucker this weekend?

10 Tips for New Trucker Wives; Learn the Value of being Flexible

I am back from my small hiatus! The past couple weeks have been busy preventing me from taking the time I like to have for my blog. It started with a sickness overpowering our household (which will be a whole different post in the future) and then family priorities arose. Sorry its been so long since my last post, I hope people are still reading!! :) I am going to continue with the segment "10 Tips for New Trucker Wives"

As I said before there is not much information out there about "How to be a Trucker-wife" or how to make this life easier on yourself and your family. It took a while after my husband started OTR to get a handle on things and to be content with this decision. At the time I had wished there was somebody there to give me advice in the beginning, maybe it would not have taken me so long to accept this life and make the most of it!

So I decided to comprise a list of tips for new trucker-wives and how to handle the transition easier. This list can also be useful if your significant other has any job away from home...not just trucking. The last tip I posted was "Learn All About the Trucking Industry" this week I want to talk about how developing a flexible personality will help make your life easier and less chaotic.

Here goes....Tip #3


Learn the Value of being Flexible

While driving a truck anything can go wrong. He might get a flat tire on his way home preventing him from making it home on time. Once he gets home (this has happened to us) he may have to fix something on his truck taking time away from your time together.

Like I mentioned before, it is a low blow when you have had it in your mind all day that he was going to be home, and you have planned how that time will be spent, only to find out that it is not going to happen.

There are many ways you can improve your personal flexibility.

Learn to compromise. If you had plans to go out for dinner and a movie with your significant other, but now its 9pm and he's just pulling in....settle for a movie on Netflix and a frozen pizza instead. All that really matters is that you are spending quality time together!

Accept a little imperfection. If you have prepared an elaborate meal only to find out your trucker will be hours late...do not beat yourself up about it. He will not care if the meal needs re-heated. A great way to deal with this is to instead plan a crock-pot meal that takes little effort and can easily wait for his return!

Make back-up plans. It is hard waiting around and being excited for your husband's return. We make plans. We clean the house. We shave our legs. And then we sit around waiting for him to pull in. But sometimes at the last minute you get the phone call that its not going to happen. BUMMER. And all the plans you made just went down the drain. Well...when this happens always have a back-up plan. Do not let your newly washed and straightened hair go to waste! Meet up with an old friend you have not seen in a while, have some you-time at the mall and buy something for yourself, or go on a "mommy-date" with your kids. Do not just sit around and sulk. It will not solve anything and even if you do not believe it, your husband is just as bummed!

What are some ways you have changed your life to become more flexible while living this lifestyle! Let us know by leaving a comment!

I just wanted to add that it is very funny that I decided to write this blog post today. While in the middle of it I got the phone call from my hubby that he is stuck in Illinois. He did not like the way they loaded some pipes onto his truck and he called safety and they agreed but the place that loaded him would not change it. So they unloaded him and now he is waiting on a new load. This means he probably will not make it home this weekend. Awe geez, does anybody want to go to the mall?

10 Tips for New Trucker Wives : Learn all about the Trucking Industry

As I said last week there is not much information out there about "How to be a Trucker-wife" or how to make this life easier on yourself and your family. It took a while after my husband started OTR to get a handle on things and to be content with this decision. At the time I had wished there was somebody there to give me advice in the beginning, maybe it would not have taken me so long to accept this life and make the most of it!

So I decided to comprise a list of tips for new trucker-wives and how to handle the transition easier. This list can also be useful if your significant other has any job away from home.

Last week I discussed the importance of developing a support system. This week I will continue on with this series and talk a little about the trucking industry.

So here goes, tip #2...

Learn All About the Trucking Industry 

When A left for training neither of us (especially me) knew much about how the trucking industry worked. My knowledge on this topic was very limited and caused a lot of misunderstandings.

I advise both of you to sit down and talk about how it all works. Let him explain to you what he does all day, how getting loaded and unloaded and his "Hours of Service" work.

I was under the assumption he loaded up someplace, drove to where he was to unload, unloaded quickly, slept the night, and then did it all again the next day. Simple as that. Little did I know it is not quite like that. I did not understand why he was not making it home when he originally said he would.

For one thing, there are rules and regulations that truck driver's have to abide by. One of these is the "Hours of Service" (HOS) regulations issued by the Federal Motor Carrier Safety Administration. HOS regulations were adopted for the main purpose of preventing vehicle accidents caused by driver fatigue. These regulations limit the amount of hours drivers may spend working and/or driving and require drivers to take a minimum rest period.

These regulations are a necessities and without them your husband's career would be very dangerous to him and others on the road. While these make driving safer, it also can cause complications for getting home. This combined with traffic and weather conditions will cause delays on getting home more often than not (at least with my experience.)  Even if your significant other is only 15 miles down the road, if his clock runs out, he is forced to shut it down.

I have researched these regulations and I am still not exactly sure how it all works but I know that a driver's time "on-duty", not necessarily driving, is also accounted for. Which means, if he is stuck at a location getting loaded for hours, this time "on-duty" is also counted towards the HOS, therefore creating another roadblock in getting home.

It is not fun being excited all day for your husband to come home, only to get a call that he is not going to make it. In the beginning this would thoroughly piss me off. I did not understand what he was going through and all the roadblocks he encountered trying to make it home. After talking more and understanding how this lifestyle operates, it was easier for me to accept these surprises.

I have only touched on one topic of the trucking industry, I am still learning myself. There are many more topics you and your spouse need to discuss to get a grasp on a better understanding of his work-day. Communication is key and will create a long lasting relationship.


For more information on the trucking industry click on the following links...
US Dept. of Transportation: Summary of HOS
Layover.com : Day in the Life of a Trucker
Truckingtruth.com : OTR The Life of a Long-Haul Truck Driver

10 Tips for New Trucker Wives: Tip #1; Develop a Support System!

There is not much information out there about "How to be a Trucker-wife" or how to make this life easier on yourself and your family. It took a while after my husband started OTR to get a handle on things and to be content with this decision. At the time I had wished there was somebody there to give me advice in the beginning, maybe it would not have taken me so long to accept this life and to make the most of it!

So I decided to comprise a list of tips for new trucker-wives and how to handle the transition easier. These tips can also be useful if your significant other has any job away from home...not just trucking. I will post 1 tip a week until I have gone over all 10 tips! So keep checking back each week!

Here goes....the first tip in this series is...

Develop a Support System

The Free Dictionary describes a support system as "a network of facilities and people who interact and remain in informal communication for mutual assistance; a network that enables you to live in a certain style"

I can not think of anything more important than your own personal support system when living the lifestyle as a single wife. Personally, I can guarantee that this lifestyle would not be working for my family if it were not for those willing to help us when needed. I have wonderful parents and a sister, who, with no questions asked, are willing to jump in their car in the middle of the night if I asked them to. Not to mention they treat my son like he is their own.

 

The week my husband was supposed to get his own truck and start driving on his own, I wound up in the hospital. I was 12 weeks pregnant and woke up one morning coughing up blood. After a trip to the ER I found out I had a life threatening condition, multiple pulmonary embolisms (blood clots) in both lungs. I had a three night stay in the hospital and was off work on medical leave for 2 months.

 

I could hardly make it through the day. I spent most of my time on the couch and had to take daily naps because my energy was so depleted due to low oxygen levels and my heart having to work extra hard to make up for it. I could not even go grocery shopping without having to sit down. I also had numerous doctors appointments as a result, all while my husband had to be on the road because he started a new job and could not take any time off.

What happened was out of every body's control and completely unexpected. My mom and sister stepped in without being asked and helped me take care of my toddler, made sure I was eating right, took me to my doctor's appointments and even cleaned my house. Also, I am lucky enough that my husband's family lives close to us and are just as supportive. I really do not know what I would have done without these people in my life.

No matter how together you think you got it, there will come a time when you need your car jumped, you need plowed out of your driveway, or need somebody to take care of your child when he is sick while you are working. You can try your hardest, and probably do quite well for yourself, but eventually something is going to come up and you are going to wish you had somebody to rely on.

If you do not have family or friends near-by, try to make friends with your neighbors, or co-workers so you would feel comfortable asking them to help you with small tasks that you just can not do yourself. If you have reliable people in your life, when bad luck happens, its not really a catastrophe but just a quick call to a friend!

Who makes up your support system? Let us know with a quick comment and check back next week for Tip #2!