10 Tips for New Trucker Wives; Take Charge on the Home Front

As I said before there is not much information out there about "How to be a Trucker-wife" or how to make this life easier on yourself and your family. It took a while after my husband started OTR to get a handle on things and to be content with this decision. At the time I had wished there was somebody there to give me advice in the beginning, maybe it would not have taken me so long to accept this life and make the most of it!

So I decided to comprise a list of tips for new trucker-wives and how to handle the transition easier. This list can also be useful if your significant other has any job away from home.

Last week I discussed how planning out your time together can be beneficial. This week I will continue on with this series and talk about taking on responsibilities at home.

So here goes, tip #5...
5. Take Charge on the Home Front

With your husband now gone, most of chores that were once split down the middle have disproportionately got laid down on your plate! Do not let yourself feel resentful because of this. Take this opportunity to start "wearing the pants!" (but don't let your husband know this! ha) Take charge of the checkbook and bills, make decisions yourself, organize your home they way you want it!

My husband did a lot around the house. We both worked full time before he started trucking which meant we both had to share responsibilities around the home because neither of us were home often. A lot of things were left un-done and/or disorganized. When he went over the road...I stood up and took charge. I looked at it as an opportunity to run my house the way I wanted to!

Start taking it upon yourself to take your vehicle to get serviced, take the garbage out, learn how to fix things and do the "man-work". Not only will your house stay more organized and taken care of but you might also start to feel pride that you are able to take care of things on your own!

By filling your days with a routine and getting things accomplished, it leaves you little time to sit and think about your significant other being away. It is easy to fall into a depression when all that you think about is him not being there...fight that urge to mope and make yourself up a routine to follow each day and goals you want to accomplish! It may not sound like fun, but it is rewarding!

Also, by taking care of most of the responsibilities at home, it will give you and your trucker more quality time to spend together during his home-time! Don't get me wrong, there are still things I refuse to do, like mow the lawn, change the kitty-litter, or carry very heavy objects! So do not think that I am saying do EVERYthing and leave nothing for him to do, I am just saying pick up a few of the shared chores and take charge of your home! Believe me you will feel proud of yourself!

How have the responsibilities in your home changed since your trucker has been on the road?

Sickness Over the Road

Recently my home was hit with a stomach sickness. Luckily it was during the week and I was able to take care of things and disinfect our house before A got home. I took the time and bleached EVERYthing, I tore the bed clothes off the beds, washed every sheet, blanket, and pillow, and doused our bathrooms with bleach.

When Friday rolled around I was proud of myself. The house was immaculate and I did my part to help keep my hubby healthy so he could work his hardest and provide for his family. We went on to have a very nice weekend and nobody got sick. I did my duty.

A left Monday morning with confidence that he was going to be okay.

Then Wednesday rolled around and I got the phone call. A was sick too. Crap!

I did everything I could to try to keep him from getting any germs. Now I sat and worried about him being on the road. I sat and thought about all the things I should have packed for him in case this scenario popped up.

So I went to work at creating a medicine cabinet for my hubby to take with him!

 

1. Ibuprofen: Fever and Pain Reducer
2. Acetaminophen: Fever and Pain Reducer
3. Phenylephrine HCI Tablets: Non-Drowsy Nasal Decongestant
4. Guaifenesin, USP: Non-Drowsy Cough Medicine
5. Loratadine: non-sedating Anti-histamine
6. Pepto-Bismol: Nausea, Heartburn, Indigestion, Upset Stomach, Diarrhea (You know you just sung that like the commercial!)
7. Cortisone Cream: Anti-Itch Cream
8. Icy-Hot: rub-on muscle pain reducer
9. Thermometer

Always remember to purchase NON-DROWSY drugs at all times! This is very important when they will be behind the wheel all day long. It is also always a good idea to keep well-hydrated at all times, especially when fighting an illness because dehydration can happen quickly. Drinks such as Gatorade and good old fashion H2O are best for this! Encourage your trucker to pull over and rest if it is that bad. He does not want to risk hurting other drivers on the road or himself, and find the closest urgent care or emergency room!

I meet lots of sick truck drivers at work because I work in a small rural hospital located near a turn pike off ramp. It is a common stop for drivers who are having health problems. Many of them have asked to keep the adult diapers and urinals or bedpans in case they get sick while driving....I brought this up to my husband half joking, he adamantly refused! haha!

Another thing you might want to think about adding to your trucker's medicine stock, a good daily multivitamin! I am not sure about your significant other but I am sure A does not eat as well as he should be eating while on the road. A good multi-vitamin will help him get the nutrients his diet is lacking!

It is also a good idea to purchase a medication to help support the immune system, such as the name brand product Airborne or a vitamin C tablet. It is very important for us all to stay healthy, but I think its more important that A stays as healthy as he can because he is driving all day long, away from home, and away from convenient health care.

Whatever kind of medicine box you put together for your significant other, keep it as simple as possible and as small as possible so it can tuck away in his bunk until needed! Also remember to check the expiration dates after so long, many medications expire after a year!

If you have any other suggestions of things I must add to hubby's medicine chest, leave me a comment! Also keep checking back to read about the first-aid kit I am planning to put together next!

10 Tips for New Trucker Wives; Plan out your time spent together!

As I said before there is not much information out there about "How to be a Trucker-wife" or how to make this life easier on yourself and your family. It took a while after my husband started OTR to get a handle on things and to be content with this decision. At the time I had wished there was somebody there to give me advice in the beginning, maybe it would not have taken me so long to accept this life and make the most of it!

So I decided to comprise a list of tips for new trucker-wives and how to handle the transition easier. This list can also be useful if your significant other has any job away from home.

Last week I discussed the importance of being flexible This week I will continue on with this series and talk a little about spending quality time together.

So here goes, tip #4...

4. Plan out your time spent together!

 

 It is always nice to have something to look forward to do together when your husband is home. Plan your time so you get the most out of it since the two of you do not get to spend a lot of time together.

 

If it has been awhile since the two of you have had time "alone", find a sitter and plan a date together. If your kids are missing their daddy more this week, plan a trip to the playground with daddy so they are excited all week instead of sad about him being away.

 

Useing what little time you have in the most efficient way will help keep your relationship smooth sailing despite the constant distant between you.

 

I also always try to get most of the chores done through the week so most of our time can be spent together on weekend and not wasted on chores that I had time to do all week. This will
make your time together more enjoyable.

This week we are planning to go to a local cash bash picnic and then take our little one to the movie's to see the new EPIC movie! What plans do you have with your trucker this weekend?

10 Tips for New Trucker Wives; Learn the Value of being Flexible

I am back from my small hiatus! The past couple weeks have been busy preventing me from taking the time I like to have for my blog. It started with a sickness overpowering our household (which will be a whole different post in the future) and then family priorities arose. Sorry its been so long since my last post, I hope people are still reading!! :) I am going to continue with the segment "10 Tips for New Trucker Wives"

As I said before there is not much information out there about "How to be a Trucker-wife" or how to make this life easier on yourself and your family. It took a while after my husband started OTR to get a handle on things and to be content with this decision. At the time I had wished there was somebody there to give me advice in the beginning, maybe it would not have taken me so long to accept this life and make the most of it!

So I decided to comprise a list of tips for new trucker-wives and how to handle the transition easier. This list can also be useful if your significant other has any job away from home...not just trucking. The last tip I posted was "Learn All About the Trucking Industry" this week I want to talk about how developing a flexible personality will help make your life easier and less chaotic.

Here goes....Tip #3


Learn the Value of being Flexible

While driving a truck anything can go wrong. He might get a flat tire on his way home preventing him from making it home on time. Once he gets home (this has happened to us) he may have to fix something on his truck taking time away from your time together.

Like I mentioned before, it is a low blow when you have had it in your mind all day that he was going to be home, and you have planned how that time will be spent, only to find out that it is not going to happen.

There are many ways you can improve your personal flexibility.

Learn to compromise. If you had plans to go out for dinner and a movie with your significant other, but now its 9pm and he's just pulling in....settle for a movie on Netflix and a frozen pizza instead. All that really matters is that you are spending quality time together!

Accept a little imperfection. If you have prepared an elaborate meal only to find out your trucker will be hours late...do not beat yourself up about it. He will not care if the meal needs re-heated. A great way to deal with this is to instead plan a crock-pot meal that takes little effort and can easily wait for his return!

Make back-up plans. It is hard waiting around and being excited for your husband's return. We make plans. We clean the house. We shave our legs. And then we sit around waiting for him to pull in. But sometimes at the last minute you get the phone call that its not going to happen. BUMMER. And all the plans you made just went down the drain. Well...when this happens always have a back-up plan. Do not let your newly washed and straightened hair go to waste! Meet up with an old friend you have not seen in a while, have some you-time at the mall and buy something for yourself, or go on a "mommy-date" with your kids. Do not just sit around and sulk. It will not solve anything and even if you do not believe it, your husband is just as bummed!

What are some ways you have changed your life to become more flexible while living this lifestyle! Let us know by leaving a comment!

I just wanted to add that it is very funny that I decided to write this blog post today. While in the middle of it I got the phone call from my hubby that he is stuck in Illinois. He did not like the way they loaded some pipes onto his truck and he called safety and they agreed but the place that loaded him would not change it. So they unloaded him and now he is waiting on a new load. This means he probably will not make it home this weekend. Awe geez, does anybody want to go to the mall?

Safety Tips for Truck Driver Wives

An incident occurred in the past week to make me re-think what I post on my blog. If you have been keeping up with me over the past couple weeks you have probably already realized I have made a few changes. I have come to the harsh realization that some of those who may be reading what I write could possibly mis-use my information or pictures. This is why I have chosen to take down my photos that contain our faces and limit my personal stories. It is sad and scary that there are people out there that may use my blog to cause harm to myself or somebody else, but that is the harsh truth of this world. I will definitely keep posting helpful information for other driver's wives like myself, but I will be keeping my personal stories at a minimum. For the close family and friends who have been reading, I plan to start a new password-protected blog that I will be able to share with you. When I get around to it, I will provide a link.

In the meantime, this incident has sparked a new topic I would like to discuss. Safety tips for trucker wives and a few safety tips for the driver's too! Many of the tips I will discuss you all have probably thought about previously, but it never hurts to hear them again. I will warn you, this may get a little lengthy.

 

Home Alone Safety Tips

• Never give out the information that you are home alone while your husband works away all week. If this information was given to the wrong person it could give them an opportunity to rob you clean and/or do harm to you and your family.
• NEVER post to on-line social media groups that you are alone. Social media spreads like wildfire and before you know it friends of your friends of your friends of your friends 2nd grade school teacher suddenly know that you are "Taking advantage of your husband being on the road all week with a nice warm bath!" at 11:30pm!
• When somebody knocks on the door, UPS, a neighbor, Jehovah's witness, do not let on that your husband is away. Act like he is just in the other room.
• When answering the phone and somebody asks for your spouse, again, pretend that he is just busy, do not give out the information that he works away days and days at a time.
• Always keep in daily contact with a near-by friend or family member.
• Keep all doors and windows locked. (Okay I know this is hard to do in the summer, but at least at night, keep doors and all out-side accessible windows shut and locked.)
• Keep a charged cell-phone within arms-reach.
• Keep a few lights and/or the TV on during the night.
• Install deadbolts and peepholes on doors, carbon monoxide/fire detectors in all rooms, closeable blinds/curtains on all outside-accessible windows, and if your budget allows a security system.
• Do not let ANY acquaintances or strangers into your home and near your family while you are home alone. Always get to know and re-search those you invite into your home. It may seem a little paranoid, but a quick "google-search" of a new friend may show they are harboring dark secrets.

The following are a few safety tips that the wives out there might want to remind their husbands about. Men sometimes think they are able to handle any situation that comes their way, but there are bad people in this world that are out to scam and/or harm whoever they can.

Safety Tips for OTR Truck Drivers

• Advise them to be cautious of anybody who approaches their truck at a truck stop or rest area.
• Urge them to think twice when anybody asks them to step out of their truck for any reason, especially if they are asking them to walk behind the trailers with them.
• Tell them to always keep their trucks locked, even when running into pay at a gas station or fast-food place.
• Make sure they are aware that there are con-artists at rest-areas and truck-stops targeting truckers and trying to get a few bucks out of them. Keep an eye open for scams!
• Be cautious of other truck drivers also. Not everybody is out to make a true friend! It is easy to feel camaraderie with other drivers when on the road, this is okay, but it can also cause you to let your guard down before you normally would.
• Ask them to NEVER give out personal information to "friends" that they meet on the road. This includes your hometown, especially if its small. Also, do not give out your name (the wife) or other family member's names!

If you are reading my blog you probably already have an on-line life. You probably take part in social media websites, read and comment on blogs, possibly even run your own blog. Online support groups are another great places to meet others who are going through the same things you are going through, and being a trucker's wife you may already belong to this type of online community. There are many things you should be aware of and take caution of when posting any type of information online.

Internet Safety

• Keep all personal social media accounts under the most scrutinized privacy settings.
• Do not accept friend requests from those you do not know in "real-life".
• Do not give out personal information on-line, including your hometown, address, phone numbers, names, names of children's schools, or personal e-mail addresses.
• Do not post pictures that contain information of your where-abouts. Check pictures for landmarks, clothing, and/or other clues of your location.
• Think twice before posting pictures of yourself or other family members that contain faces or other distinguishing marks and NEVER post pictures publicly of your children (or yourself) in little clothing.
• Never post where your spouse currently is parked and/or driving to.
• Think twice before contacting by phone and/or meeting anybody you meet online. Limit all communication of on-line contacts to e-mail.

I hope some of these tips reach somebody who can use them and perhaps prevent a harmful circumstance from happening. This is something I have recently taken very personally and seriously. If any of you have any tips that I may have forgotten please comment below and I will add them to my list! This is something we should all take on to keep our families and our truckers safe!

10 Tips for New Trucker Wives : Learn all about the Trucking Industry

As I said last week there is not much information out there about "How to be a Trucker-wife" or how to make this life easier on yourself and your family. It took a while after my husband started OTR to get a handle on things and to be content with this decision. At the time I had wished there was somebody there to give me advice in the beginning, maybe it would not have taken me so long to accept this life and make the most of it!

So I decided to comprise a list of tips for new trucker-wives and how to handle the transition easier. This list can also be useful if your significant other has any job away from home.

Last week I discussed the importance of developing a support system. This week I will continue on with this series and talk a little about the trucking industry.

So here goes, tip #2...

Learn All About the Trucking Industry 

When A left for training neither of us (especially me) knew much about how the trucking industry worked. My knowledge on this topic was very limited and caused a lot of misunderstandings.

I advise both of you to sit down and talk about how it all works. Let him explain to you what he does all day, how getting loaded and unloaded and his "Hours of Service" work.

I was under the assumption he loaded up someplace, drove to where he was to unload, unloaded quickly, slept the night, and then did it all again the next day. Simple as that. Little did I know it is not quite like that. I did not understand why he was not making it home when he originally said he would.

For one thing, there are rules and regulations that truck driver's have to abide by. One of these is the "Hours of Service" (HOS) regulations issued by the Federal Motor Carrier Safety Administration. HOS regulations were adopted for the main purpose of preventing vehicle accidents caused by driver fatigue. These regulations limit the amount of hours drivers may spend working and/or driving and require drivers to take a minimum rest period.

These regulations are a necessities and without them your husband's career would be very dangerous to him and others on the road. While these make driving safer, it also can cause complications for getting home. This combined with traffic and weather conditions will cause delays on getting home more often than not (at least with my experience.)  Even if your significant other is only 15 miles down the road, if his clock runs out, he is forced to shut it down.

I have researched these regulations and I am still not exactly sure how it all works but I know that a driver's time "on-duty", not necessarily driving, is also accounted for. Which means, if he is stuck at a location getting loaded for hours, this time "on-duty" is also counted towards the HOS, therefore creating another roadblock in getting home.

It is not fun being excited all day for your husband to come home, only to get a call that he is not going to make it. In the beginning this would thoroughly piss me off. I did not understand what he was going through and all the roadblocks he encountered trying to make it home. After talking more and understanding how this lifestyle operates, it was easier for me to accept these surprises.

I have only touched on one topic of the trucking industry, I am still learning myself. There are many more topics you and your spouse need to discuss to get a grasp on a better understanding of his work-day. Communication is key and will create a long lasting relationship.


For more information on the trucking industry click on the following links...
US Dept. of Transportation: Summary of HOS
Layover.com : Day in the Life of a Trucker
Truckingtruth.com : OTR The Life of a Long-Haul Truck Driver

10 Tips for New Trucker Wives: Tip #1; Develop a Support System!

There is not much information out there about "How to be a Trucker-wife" or how to make this life easier on yourself and your family. It took a while after my husband started OTR to get a handle on things and to be content with this decision. At the time I had wished there was somebody there to give me advice in the beginning, maybe it would not have taken me so long to accept this life and to make the most of it!

So I decided to comprise a list of tips for new trucker-wives and how to handle the transition easier. These tips can also be useful if your significant other has any job away from home...not just trucking. I will post 1 tip a week until I have gone over all 10 tips! So keep checking back each week!

Here goes....the first tip in this series is...

Develop a Support System

The Free Dictionary describes a support system as "a network of facilities and people who interact and remain in informal communication for mutual assistance; a network that enables you to live in a certain style"

I can not think of anything more important than your own personal support system when living the lifestyle as a single wife. Personally, I can guarantee that this lifestyle would not be working for my family if it were not for those willing to help us when needed. I have wonderful parents and a sister, who, with no questions asked, are willing to jump in their car in the middle of the night if I asked them to. Not to mention they treat my son like he is their own.

 

The week my husband was supposed to get his own truck and start driving on his own, I wound up in the hospital. I was 12 weeks pregnant and woke up one morning coughing up blood. After a trip to the ER I found out I had a life threatening condition, multiple pulmonary embolisms (blood clots) in both lungs. I had a three night stay in the hospital and was off work on medical leave for 2 months.

 

I could hardly make it through the day. I spent most of my time on the couch and had to take daily naps because my energy was so depleted due to low oxygen levels and my heart having to work extra hard to make up for it. I could not even go grocery shopping without having to sit down. I also had numerous doctors appointments as a result, all while my husband had to be on the road because he started a new job and could not take any time off.

What happened was out of every body's control and completely unexpected. My mom and sister stepped in without being asked and helped me take care of my toddler, made sure I was eating right, took me to my doctor's appointments and even cleaned my house. Also, I am lucky enough that my husband's family lives close to us and are just as supportive. I really do not know what I would have done without these people in my life.

No matter how together you think you got it, there will come a time when you need your car jumped, you need plowed out of your driveway, or need somebody to take care of your child when he is sick while you are working. You can try your hardest, and probably do quite well for yourself, but eventually something is going to come up and you are going to wish you had somebody to rely on.

If you do not have family or friends near-by, try to make friends with your neighbors, or co-workers so you would feel comfortable asking them to help you with small tasks that you just can not do yourself. If you have reliable people in your life, when bad luck happens, its not really a catastrophe but just a quick call to a friend!

Who makes up your support system? Let us know with a quick comment and check back next week for Tip #2!

He didn't marry a Stepford wife!

I have been scouring the web looking for "trucker-wife" information and advice. The more I look the more and more disgusted I get.

I think the trucker-husbands have all banded together and posted all over the Internet "1000's ways to please your trucker husband." There is information upon information about letting your husband relax and rest all he wants when he is home. Do not "over-whelm" him with responsibilities or tasks. Always cook him his favorite meals and have the house spic and span!

BEWARE!! Because if you do not follow these instructions, and you happen to ask your husband to take out the trash when he is home, you should definitely expect him to cheat on you and never EVER come home!

REALLY?!?! GAG ME WITH A BIG RUSTY SPOON!

I believe that a good man will continue to be a good man no matter his career choice. I have expectations of my husband. I expect him to be a father to our son. I expect him to take care of the things that I can not do when he is home. I expect him to treat me like a loving husband, even if the beds are not made or we are eating day-old pizza!

Men if you are reading this...you need to continue to be a husband and father, even if you are OTR! You need to take care of the things your wife can not do. You need to show your wife love and affection when you are home, because she is probably craving your attention. You need to take part in your children's lives and jump in and take over their routine.

Truckers! You need to realize your wife is home all week taking care of 100% of the responsibilities, chores, children, work, with little time for herself. You can not expect her to be waiting at the door for you, decked out in a 1950's dress, hair done up, holding an apple pie, in a perfectly clean house, with children down for a nap, ready to jump in bed. This is real life....and real life continues when you are gone and does not come to a halt when you get home.

Having said that, I hold myself up to high expectations as well. I expect myself to be a thoughtful and loving wife and mother. I expect myself to make our family-time enjoyable because we don't have much time together. I do this by trying my best to take care of chores and errands during the week so we have more time to spend together on the weekends. I TRY to cook a good home-cooked meal at least once that he can enjoy and take left-overs with him for the week. And I TRY to be in a good mood and overlook the small things and choose my battles wisely.

But this should be in every marriage. There's give and take in every relationship, not just in the trucking world. When my husband married me he knew I wasn't the best house-keeper and I'm horrible at taking care of a check book. These things are not ever going to change because of my husband's job.

If you have married a good, trustworthy, responsible, loving man, he will continue to be that person no matter your imperfections. You do not have to worry about lot lizards just because you forgot to unload the dishwasher!

Saying Goodbye

Another weekend has come and gone too soon. Time for A to get loaded up and head down the highway again.

Saying goodbye never gets easier. No matter how many times he walks out the door, I always blink away tears. For his and C's sake, I never shed a tear...it will just make it harder on all of us if I did.

I remember the first time I sent him off. I had to take him to the bus station to catch a bus to the training facility for the company he was hired to drive for. He would be there two weeks. It was the first time in probably 8 years that we would be apart for that long.

I got back in the vehicle after saying our goodbyes and thank goodness C was in the backseat because I could hardly hold it together. My eyes blurred over and even though my sister-in-law had ridden along I drove back home in silence.

I was afraid to be home alone, wondered if I would be able to handle everything at home and work a full time job AND take care of C. It did not help matters that we found out we were expecting #2 (Surprise!) just a week before he left. I was an emotional wreck. How was I going to do this alone?

The next morning I woke up, got myself and C ready for me to go to work, pulled out of the driveway, realized I had a flat tire, backed it up...RIGHT INTO A DITCH!

Now what was I going to do? I could have had an emotional breakdown, I could have called my husband in tears saying it was all a mistake and he needed to come home, and believe me I thought about this more than once and he would have listened.

Instead, in the snow, only wearing thin scrubs, 6 weeks pregnant, I went back inside, pulled out the huge air compressor, found an extension cord that reached to my vehicle that was up the road a little ways, filled up my tire, got myself out of the ditch...and made it to work on time.

I was going to be okay.

Saying good-bye never gets easier, but it becomes routine, and one day your eyes forget to well up and life rolls on...