Saying Goodbye

Another weekend has come and gone too soon. Time for A to get loaded up and head down the highway again.

Saying goodbye never gets easier. No matter how many times he walks out the door, I always blink away tears. For his and C's sake, I never shed a tear...it will just make it harder on all of us if I did.

I remember the first time I sent him off. I had to take him to the bus station to catch a bus to the training facility for the company he was hired to drive for. He would be there two weeks. It was the first time in probably 8 years that we would be apart for that long.

I got back in the vehicle after saying our goodbyes and thank goodness C was in the backseat because I could hardly hold it together. My eyes blurred over and even though my sister-in-law had ridden along I drove back home in silence.

I was afraid to be home alone, wondered if I would be able to handle everything at home and work a full time job AND take care of C. It did not help matters that we found out we were expecting #2 (Surprise!) just a week before he left. I was an emotional wreck. How was I going to do this alone?

The next morning I woke up, got myself and C ready for me to go to work, pulled out of the driveway, realized I had a flat tire, backed it up...RIGHT INTO A DITCH!

Now what was I going to do? I could have had an emotional breakdown, I could have called my husband in tears saying it was all a mistake and he needed to come home, and believe me I thought about this more than once and he would have listened.

Instead, in the snow, only wearing thin scrubs, 6 weeks pregnant, I went back inside, pulled out the huge air compressor, found an extension cord that reached to my vehicle that was up the road a little ways, filled up my tire, got myself out of the ditch...and made it to work on time.

I was going to be okay.

Saying good-bye never gets easier, but it becomes routine, and one day your eyes forget to well up and life rolls on...