Sunday, April 7, 2013

Saying Goodbye

Another weekend has come and gone too soon. Time for A to get loaded up and head down the highway again.

Saying goodbye never gets easier. No matter how many times he walks out the door, I always blink away tears. For his and C's sake, I never shed a will just make it harder on all of us if I did.

I remember the first time I sent him off. I had to take him to the bus station to catch a bus to the training facility for the company he was hired to drive for. He would be there two weeks. It was the first time in probably 8 years that we would be apart for that long.

I got back in the vehicle after saying our goodbyes and thank goodness C was in the backseat because I could hardly hold it together. My eyes blurred over and even though my sister-in-law had ridden along I drove back home in silence.

I was afraid to be home alone, wondered if I would be able to handle everything at home and work a full time job AND take care of C. It did not help matters that we found out we were expecting #2 (Surprise!) just a week before he left. I was an emotional wreck. How was I going to do this alone?

The next morning I woke up, got myself and C ready for me to go to work, pulled out of the driveway, realized I had a flat tire, backed it up...RIGHT INTO A DITCH!

Now what was I going to do? I could have had an emotional breakdown, I could have called my husband in tears saying it was all a mistake and he needed to come home, and believe me I thought about this more than once and he would have listened.

Instead, in the snow, only wearing thin scrubs, 6 weeks pregnant, I went back inside, pulled out the huge air compressor, found an extension cord that reached to my vehicle that was up the road a little ways, filled up my tire, got myself out of the ditch...and made it to work on time.

I was going to be okay.

Saying good-bye never gets easier, but it becomes routine, and one day your eyes forget to well up and life rolls on...


  1. just found your sight, thank you for this post.. Today was the FIRST goodbye, and I'm a basket case. I still need to get into work here in the next hour, so I'm trying to pull it together before I leave.

  2. It will get better! I promise! The first 2 months were the worst for me. I have to get to work too! Try to have a great day despite having to say Goodbye today! Keep in touch, I would love to build a support group for wives like us!

  3. My hubby left today but it was harder for me than before. Last week I had a break down over my 3 year old throwing eggs on the floor but there is more to this story. Next week will be exactly 1 year since my little brother passed away and I am afraid to be alone. He promised me he will be on the phone with me and we will facetime the night before so he can make sure that I am ok when I sleep. It doesn't get easier but I can manage without him home.

    1. I am so sorry to hear about your brother, I can't imagine. It is hard being so far away from your hubby but its great seeing another couple staying connected despite the miles between them! Keep in contact! I love hearing from other's living this lifestyle!